Capitol Hill Blog Party

On Saturday after lunch and a walk in the park, Angel and I put on our best hipster costumes and walked down the street to the Capitol Hill Block Party--our local--suddenly really hyped--indie rock music festival. Here are some pictures (most of which are really bad, sorry) and a recap.

(Oh, and PS--Shayne, these are Hipsters. Allll Hipsters.)

We stuck almost exclusively to Northwest bands--not really intentionally, but b/c there were a lot of them there, I wanted to see them, and Angel had no preference because she'd never heard of anyone at the show. First up were the Cave Singers, who make a really good back-woods-old-timey-whiskey-jugs-and-broke-down-cars-and-pentecostal-churches kind of indie rock. There's a lot of that coming out of the PNW these days, and I like it. Fake back-woods as the new grunge?

After them, we sat and drank coffee while Kimya Dawson was singing. I think the top picture is the crowd during her show, and the bottom picture is definitely my old buddy Joel, who we talked to while we were drinking coffee (he wasn't doing that when we talked to him). Neither Angel nor I really liked Kimya, but apparently she sang a song from the movie Juno, which is one of the best movies of the year--apparently.



After Kimya's show we wandered into a packed club called Neumo's to watch Portland's "The Builders and the Butchers". Neither one of us had heard them before, but they were probably the highlight of the festival for us. More slightly pentecostal/old-timey flavored NW indie rock, and awesome. I always think that religious imagery makes a nice spice for music, and they sprinkle it through nicely. I liked them so much (and my pictures are so bad) that I've included someone else's video of their song "Let it Rain". We weren't anywhere near this close.

After that we wandered out to a packed Fleet Foxes show on the main stage. They're everyone's favorite Seattle band right now. As Angel said, they're kind of like the BeeGees. Well, I guess kind of indie rock BeeGees. They use four-part harmonies anyway. They're a good band, but not really a great live show when you're standing near the back of the crowd and a steady stream of people keep pushing by you and tripping over you and that sort of thing.

After the Fleet Foxes, we went back to Neumos and watched two songs by Jaguar Love, who are a one of the three new bands composed of ex-Blood Brothers members. Shrieking indie rock/sort of hardcore kind of stuff, not a bad band, but not my thing. Angel couldn't take it, so we left.

After that, we left and went to dinner at a Vietnamese place next to a grocery store. I had Mongolian Tofu and Thai Iced Tea, and Angel had some mushroom kind of thing.

After dinner, we went to an 'unofficial' Triumph of Lethargy Skinned Alive to Death show in the ChaCha Lounge, which is in the basement of Bimbo's Cantina, which used to be called Bimbo's Bitchin' Burrito Kitchen, which was a much better name. TOLSATD put on a great show as always; more punk rock than I've seen them before. As a band a few years back, they started off really heavily experimental, but have morphed into something more accessible. Andrea Zollo (ex-Pretty Girls Make Graves) on vocals has been a nice addition to the band over the last year or so. She is pictured above with Spencer and Joel and some people in a bar doing a Bikini Kill cover.


That was kind of the end of the night for us. We stuck around and watched a few songs by the Hold Steady (above) who are fun and dorky, and I probably would have liked more when I was a teenager.



After that we stood around for a few songs by Devotchka. Once again, apparently everyone loves them--they were the festival headliner--but I don't really get it. They're kind of world-musicky and had a song on Little Miss Sunshine, which makes me think that if you consider yourself cultured, fun and indie, you should try to enjoy their music--or at least tell people that you do. With that in mind, I've included one of their videos above.

Feral Island Teens

(Photo from the Seattle Times)

I'm usually not really that big on 'true crime' kind of crap, but there's something really intriguing about this story from the Seattle Times this morning, about 17 year old "Feral Teen" Colton Harris-Moore who's been living on Camano Island near Seattle and robbing from its wealthy residents for 11 years. Apparently he camps in the woods and robs from the rich to support his existence, have fun and give to friends. Kids these days.

From the Times Story, by Jennifer Sullivan:

CAMANO ISLAND — Whether it's locals gossiping over coffee at the Elger Bay Café, fishermen picking up bait at the country store or snowbirds lounging in their luxurious summer homes, one 17-year-old boy is the talk of the island.

And depending on who's talking, Colton Harris-Moore — a ninth-grade dropout believed to be responsible for scores of burglaries on the island over the past 11 years — is alternately described as a calculating criminal, master survivalist or modern-day Robin Hood.

But Island County Sheriff Mark Brown has a one-word description for Harris-Moore: "Wanted."

It seems everyone on this 40-square-mile island nestled between Whidbey Island and North Snohomish County has an opinion of the teenage fugitive and what should be done with him. Some believe he's a product of a troubled childhood and deserves sympathy and psychiatric care, while others say he's an opportunistic burglar who deserves to be greeted with gunfire...

The teen's alleged recent burglary spree, which Brown says involves identity theft, stealing credit cards and cars and taking up residence in empty homes, has forced many of Camano Island's more than 17,000 summertime residents out of their rural comfort and to do something they never thought they had to — lock their front doors.

There's something that makes you want to root for a kid like that.

Tommy Dean

For the last four days, I've basically been hanging around Seattle not doing anything and trying not to spend any money. As part of that experience, on Saturday night Angel and I took a couple of friends to a free concert by Tommy Dean at a record store in the Ballard neighborhood, north of us. (You should click on that link and listen to some of his stuff at MySpace. Seriously.)

I've posted on this guy before (we first saw him at Seattle's Folklife festival with Baby Gramps, who we happened upon at a restaurant the same night, coincidentally enough), but man, what a surreal experience that show was. First off, we were basically the entire crowd. He had two friends there, and three teenagers showed up, but beyond that it was really just us and a few stray store-browsers who were listening. Secondly, he played for two and a half hours non-stop, and we left before he finished (standing around alone as a musician plays for you for two and a half hours is itself an unusual experience). Third, he was absolutely captivating. The two and a half hours of music were almost all original and almost all really really good, but he hasn't released an album. (He's a busker by trade, and sings for money at the Pike Place Market.) His musical style ranged between Bruce Springsteen's "Nebraska" to old timey, bluesy or blue-grassy stuff. He used lots of weird religious imagery, which I always love, and sung about sex, cocaine and the open road.

I'm gushing now (and this post is starting to read like one of his friends wrote it. I don't know him--really! I said "good stuff" to him at the show, but he didn't respond.) but I really don't understand how he hasn't managed to gather a following. Our friend kept referring to him in reference to early Bob Dylan, which is both a kiss of death and appropriate, I think. My comparison is to Daniel Johnston, the schizophrenic musical genius that they made a movie about a few years back. Whoever you compare him to, he comes off as both eccentric and brilliant, and I would guess that people will hear about him at some point. If you're in Seattle, you should really go see him live--it'll probably be free and intimate. If you're not, watch for an album--he's apparently releasing "Introducing Tommy Dean" on Bad Animals before long. His music is beautiful and classic, his voice is high and strange, and his race and descent are indeterminate. It's not an experience I've had at a show before.

Here are a few strange and grainy videos I found of Tommy on YouTube, to add to the mystique. (Thanks veraviolet)

First Tommy on a Beach:



Then Tommy in the Waves:



And finally Tommy doing what he does:

Ice Cream Trucks in Seattle are Universally Creepy

Our ice cream trucks are one of my favorite things about Seattle. Would you want your children buying ice cream from a creep driving one of these? I stole these pictures from Flickr, but I've seen all of these in our neighborhood. I still can't figure it out. They drive around in creepy vans blasting ice cream man music (which I can hear as I type, actually) and selling ice cream. Who's in charge of marketing for these guys? Notice that the third van down has no windows, except in the front where they're barred up. Come and get it children!

Christian Music on the Rocks

I've had an eventful few weeks and I feel like I've got a lot of processing to do and a few stories to tell, so I'm hoping that I can find a lot of time over the next few days to blog. I have a meeting all day tomorrow and Shayne flies in on Sunday, so that might be wishful thinking. We'll be touring the Seattle sights and hopefully going to the US Air Guitar nationals next door to my house, and going to see TOLSATD next door to my house.

In any case though, to begin filling you in on what I've been up to, as you may know our friend from New Zealand, Christie, was visiting for the last few weeks. Two Sundays ago another friend from New Zealand also happened to be in town, Brooke Fraser, who is the artist in the video above, so we all went to the show from which the clip was taken at a little club down from our house. Brooke isn't actually a friend, beyond Angel having said hi to her at the show. She is however a well-known artist in New Zealand, and apparently in the Christian world.

Being there, I realized that it was the first time I'd been to a "Christian concert" in years--since college, I would guess. The last time I went to a "Christian concert" in a secular club was when I saw P.O.D. at Bogart's in Cincinnati, I think in 2000. At the time I felt it was cool that Christians were in a bar, b/c it seemed like a good way to share the gospel. This time I felt like it was kind of a sneaky thing to do. Then I thought of it as redemptive, now I thought of it as kind of dishonest or something, and at least a little bit silly. The Christian rides in on the white horse with a siren song to save the hordes of drunken sinners. Problem is that only Seattle Pacific Christian College students showed up, along with other Christians sheepishly sipping our PBRs.

That's my cynical and unfair projection though. I'm not sure that Brooke was trying to convert anyone--she didn't talk like it--probably just trying to sell records and get her music out. She's an evangelical, but she's a NZ evangelical, which isn't quite the same thing as a US evangelical. They're more "She'll be right, mate", and we're more "If you don't save them, who will?" Whatever the case, I went in to the concert not wanting to like her. I'm not the sappy Christian music type anymore, after all. Now I'm obviously too cool for you because of my knowledge of obscure indie-music that you've never heard of, like everyone else in Seattle (and every other major white-liberal enclave). My taste in music shows that I'm gritty and tough, with a great sense of humor and a depth of understanding. Fact is though, Brooke kicked ass in the most wholesome of ways. I found myself enthralled against my will, as maybe you are too watching the video while you're reading this. Or maybe I just still like sappy music.

lots of random photos from two recent trips

The water photos are from a trip Angel and I took last weekend to Deception Pass State Park on Whidbey Island, WA. The mountains are from Baker Lake, near Mt. Baker in WA. I went there with some folks from Multifaith Works.

Capitol Hill Religion: For the Jew, the Italian and the Red Head Gay

Last week, I put up this post about religion on Capitol Hill in Seattle, hinting that I'd be posting again about what I think religion should look like here. Having thought about it a bit, I've come to realize that that whole endeavor is a little bit silly. Capitol Hill is a sampler platter of culture, and religion is really just culture that's been sanctified by magic hands and holy potlucks.

The fact is that I'm glad that there are a bunch of different groups that have organized the varieties of religious experience on the hill, and it's stupid to try to distill that into one "should" of religion here. That might be obvious to some, but honestly I think that ultimately that's what a lot of religious leader types aim for--at least those coming from a Christian perspective, which I can speak for somewhat authoritatively. As an individual, at best I think what you can say about the "should" of religion on Capitol Hill is that you have to hold to it pretty loosely. You have to approach things from a generally pluralist perspective if you want to be able to stay sane in a culture that is as mix and match as this one. It's not surprising that you meet a lot of cafeteria religion types around here. For faith communities, my guess is that the best you can do is try to fill a niche. The Hill for Jesus is great, as long as you don't mean the whole Hill.

As a member of a religious community, this is a difficult tension to keep. I'm a St. Mark's Episcopalian, and despite my aspirations to religious leadership, I'm generally personally non-committal on religious suggestions that go beyond "be good" and "love people". However, I've also got an interest in seeing my community continue to survive and thrive, and that sort of saccharine religiosity generally doesn't go far enough to be appealing. We're a healthy community in terms of population and resources, but we have to figure out how to continue to be so. Because there just aren't very many Episcopalians out there anymore, it's not exactly clear how to do that. Being reflective of the culture is important, and we've done that pretty well in adopting an aggressive position on social justice issues and inter-religious dialogue and cooperation. My feeling is that people on the Hill, in all of their diversity, have a generally positive view of the St. Mark's community, which is a good thing I suppose. (See The Stranger review of their worship here: It's number 29.) We've also been aggressively gay-friendly, which goes a long way in our neighborhood. Despite it's recent troubles, St. Mark's is actually probably in a more stable position than any other church in the city besides Mars Hill. Go figure.

(On MTV's old show The State, there was a sketch called "The Jew, the Italian and the Red Head Gay" which I was going to use to preface this post. However, apparently they haven't finished putting everything that has ever happened up on the internet, so I couldn't find video. Here's the script though. Thanks for the transcription whoever's site this is)

The Jew, The Italian, and The Red Head Gay
David (Jew), Ken (Italian) and Kevin (Red head Gay): The Jew, the Italian and the Red Head Gay, we all live together on Avenue A, we have zany adventures from day to day.

David: The Jew!

Ken: The Italian!

Kevin: And the Red Head Gay!

David: Come on Ken, it's the end of the month. We need the money for the rent, where's the money?

Ken: Oh, I'm sorry Dave, I spent it all on pasta. I'm gonna make a big tomato sauce.

Kevin: Oh, I would help you with that Ken, but I'm busy picking out these pretty curtain patterns for the apartment.

David: Fine, I'm gonna go get some bagels, I guess.

Kevin: Okay. Toodleoo schnookums!

Ken: All right Dave, Ariverderchi!

Ken, David, and Kevin: The Jew, the Italian and the Red Head Gay, we all live together on Avenue A, we each see the world in our own way.

David: The Jew!

Ken: The Italian!

Gay: And the Red--Head--ha--Gaaaaaaaaaay!!!

(great 70's disco music)

Whole Cast in ridiculous costumes: The Red Head Gaaaay, the red head gaaaay, the red head gaaaaaay. The red head gay!

Blog Walk: Capitol Hill to Discovery Park

Today has been the best weather day in Seattle all year--80's and sunny--so this morning I undertook perhaps my most ambitious Blog Walk yet: walking 7 miles from our place to Discovery Park in Magnolia, and then walking the 3 mile park loop at the end. All for you, anonymous internet readers, and I hope you appreciate it because my legs are now hair-covered sticks of pasty white jello. Craftily, I topped the three hour walk off with lunch at Dick's, which negated any positive physical benefit I might have gained from the process.

It really doesn't get much nicer in Seattle than it was today. We had stunning views of the Olympics from the Hill:
Seattle's newest major park investment, in South Lake Union, was generally deserted at 10 am on a Friday, but I did see a bunch of highly-evolved turtles braving the sewage and enjoying the sun:


(St. Mark's Cathedral from South Lake Union)

Hearty little fellas. Between South Lake Union and Fremont is a little houseboat community. Here's what a houseboat community looks like:

And here's what the front door to Magnolia looks like:
Discovery Park was stunning today with a great view of the Olympic Mountains:
Mt. Rainier is in the shot below. If you click to view the bigger version, you might be able to see it faintly towards the center of the screen. It does strange things, disappearing and reappearing.

Here's a picture I like. It's nice here on days like today:
Sometimes I post what i was thinking about while I was walking, to make this whole experience more (pretentious) than just me posting pictures on the internet of things I saw today. Instead of doing that, today I'm going to take a shower, because I'm sweaty. In other news, I've decided again not to be a priest. Probably I'll be a deacon. We'll see how many more times my decision changes.

Religion on Capitol Hill

As disciplined as I've been in obsessing about religion and where I want to live, I was dismayed today when I took stock of how little time I've actually spent obsessing about religion in the place where I do live, on Capitol Hill in Seattle. I've decided to begin rectifying that situation, and made that topic the subject of consideration for today's afternoon constitutional.

Capitol Hill is a convergence zone for a bazillion people groups, so it's no surprise that even after three years I find it a hard place to characterize religiously. The most visible religious building and community is undoubtedly St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral, which is the center of worship for a subset of the local community that can be fairly labeled as almost uniformly white, of the upper classes, and liberal (though being of that subset, many there would be upset that I pointed that out). It's also probably fair to say that St. Mark's is the epicenter for GLBTQ Christianity in the city as a whole, having had a prominent and active gay dean and an "open and affirming" policy for years.

It would be wrong to say that St. Mark's characterizes religion on Capitol Hill though, because it really is a mixed bag. There's a large Catholic population here along with the Episcopalians, but I think the Hill is most clearly a "spiritual" place, and non-traditionally religious. There are lots of yoga studios and such, and the grocery stores sell magazines like Tikkun and Tricycle. Having a large white liberal population, there's also a visible Cult of the Sunday Morning New York Times. The prominent hipster population here was probably best served by the now closed Coffee Messiah, which was only religious in an overly-defensive and self-consciously ironic sense. There are several Black churches within a few blocks of my house, but my feeling is that those really belong more to the adjacent and historically African-American Central District than Capitol Hill proper (although, again, the white liberals would be defensive about that, wanting to make sure you know that we live in a diverse neighborhood). There are regularly Evangelical groups that try to "Win the Hill for Jesus", but the evidence seems to suggest that it's not working. (Apparently one of those used to meet in a Pizza parlor right down the road from us--Piecora's.) Actually, there are a smattering of traditional WASPy churches around, but most of them have dwindling congregations and some are closing up shop. There is an old Christian Scientist Church building just down the road from us that is being turned into Condos, and it's close to an old Methodist Church that is now business offices. Now that the Christian Scientists are gone, the most unlikely church left on the Hill, if you ask me, is Volunteer Park Seventh Day Adventist Church. I really don't know where their congregation comes from. There's a cool looking Greek Orthodox Church called Church of the Assumption, but I don't know how anything about their congregation either. I haven't run into anyone who I knew was Greek Orthodox, but they tend to be stealthy. Apparently, there are no more Jews on Capitol Hill--or, well, no synagogues, though there is one close by on First Hill. I've seen Buddhist monks walking down Broadway, but don't know if there are any temples around. I guess my expert opinion would be that Capitol Hill is a ultimately a pretty decent microcosm of the religious diversity of the US as a whole. Its nucleus is comprised of disinterested agnostics and miscellaneous (though unusually liberal) Christians, with lots of fringe groups floating around the edges.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you all of this, it's because along with the thousand other things I might do in the next few years, I might be working here on the Hill on some sort of Episcopal missional front. (Yes, Wesley, I am confused.) With that in mind, I've probably got another post forthcoming, on what I think religion should look like on Capitol Hill...

Mustard Seeds in the 'burbs

For my second "Mustard Seed" post of the day, I'll briefly submit for your consideration St. Margaret's Episcopal Church in Bellevue, WA, where I am employed as the bumbling youth minister. Contra most images of the emerging church, we are an established congregation in a wealthy suburb, with a healthy mix of grey hair, boomers, young families and a youth group. We don't have high tech presentations in our services, and not many people would self-identify as post-modern. We're certainly not part of an identifiable movement, and not many conversations. Our sanctuary-style I like to describe as "Pottery Barn", and lots of our congregants drive SUVs (with a few scattered Priuses).

However, in the year and a half I've worked there, I've come to realize that many of the trends in Anglimergence are also trends at St. Margaret's. We're self-consciously missional and trying to figure out what that looks like in our happy little suburb. We recently began the process of attempting to sell off a chunk of our land for the construction of low-income housing (of which almost none exists in Bellevue), we have an established thrift store that gives away $25-30K to mission every six months, and our maintenance guy (actually a 'Sexton' in Episcopal terms), not a Christian but one who spells God "Nature" with a capital N, and I recently began a series whose aim is to determine how we should live responsibly and missionally in the midst of an environmental crisis. Every Wednesday, we open our doors to youth from the school across the street, provide them with a place to hangout, and feed them junkfood and energy drinks as a service to the local community. (Props to Buzz Matthews, my predecessor, white rapper and by all accounts genius youth minister, for establishing that one.) Our senior warden and others are attending mission conferences and thinking outside the box about ways we can be the church in Bellevue. We're renting out our building to community organizations, teaming with interdenominational congregations, and reaching out to our community on a regular basis. I'm not sure how it happened, but all of these old folks and boomers drifted in an emergent direction without even having a pastor with cool postmodern crap. In five years, I won't be surprised if they have established a monastic community on the property, right next to Target and Old Navy. I personally am trying to figure out what it means to be a youth minister in this context--having some success and lots of failure, but generally appreciating the gift of employment and freedom that St. Margaret's has given.

St. Margaret's is, honestly, the primary reason that I'm skeptical about all the suggestions that traditional and institutional churches are hopeless, and that we have to establish something new. History is a story of cultural drift, with only the occasional revolution. St. Marg's is evidence that cultural drift is still happening, and that institutions can transform rather rapidly to meet a changing set of circumstances--even when twenty-something leaders aren't given full reign. It's one of the key reasons that I'm committed to working in a missional direction in the institutional church, and evidence that established churches can use their significant resources to move in innovative directions.

Multifaith and Mustard Seeds

I know, it's not tomorrow anymore. Nevermind that.

I'm just finishing up Tom Sine's "The New Conspirators", which is presently the book to read for trendy emerging church types. It's all about Mustard Seeds, "streams", new monastics, networks, alternative approaches to church, postmodern ministry and so forth. I of course like it quite a bit. In that spirit, I've been wanting to post on a few mustard seed/salt of the earth-type places that I've been involved with for a while, and today, while I'm eating leftover spaghetti for lunch, I shall, because I think these are places that my 12 readers might like to know about. (Although I should be doing other things, like getting work done for said places...)

First off, I spend about half of my working life entering data into a computer, providing volunteer support, and trying to avoid social faux pas at an organization in Seattle called Multifaith Works. The organization does work with folks struggling with MS, HIV/AIDS, substance abuse recovery, and the associated isolation that comes along with those. A huge number of the people in our client base, and the majority of our staff, come from social backgrounds about which I as a straight white Christian country boy from Ohio know little to nothing--the GLBTQ community primarily, as well as the African-American and Hispanic immigrant communities, people in recovery, and of course the poor to working class. Almost every day I imagine that I say or do something stupid or offensive to or about one of those people groups, but what do you do?! I'm trying my best. Luckily they're nice and forgiving people.

The thing that I have going for me is that the bulk of our volunteers are more like myself than our clients. My program (The AIDS Careteam Program) organizes volunteers--historically primarily recruited from faith communities of various persuasions, and generally from outside the predominant communities that you associate with the disease--into teams to be partnered with individuals living with isolation and HIV/AIDS, to do the things that friends and family would and should do--that is, helping them out with day to day tasks, and generally getting to know them.

While I've only been working there for a few months, I've been a volunteer with the organization for about two and a half years and I've long felt that this group of people--from a variety of faith backgrounds--is doing what churches should be doing: very concertedly building community with the people who are marginalized in our culture--with no strings attached. Essentially, our program's job is to help people make friends with people who others have abandoned. I just love that. The great thing is that the experience is truly transformative: volunteers usually come in wary and anxious about meeting people they normally wouldn't associate with, and quickly become friends with them. Clients (partners is what we actually call them, because they aren't really clients) usually come in isolated, and often wary of the judgmental attitudes of religious-folk, but often find that these become their closest relationships. This isn't church building: we are a non-denominational 'secular' organization, and we're very explicit that religious 'conversion' is not our goal--its not even allowed. As such, I doubt that any church, mosque, synagogue or coven has picked up pledge money as a result of their congregants' volunteering, though some partners do discover through the experience that not all religious folks are judgmental hypocrites and eventually end up connecting with faith communities. At the same time, religious (and healthy) types discover that you don't have to be financially productive, straight and healthy to be a worthwhile person. For me, it is ironic and undeniable that what happens is the heart of what church building should be about--that is, it's an establishing of loving and trusting relationship, where people learn important truths about life, and the formation of community where there was none before. A finding of God in an organization and in other people, if you want to use those terms.

As we think about what church--especially progressive church--might look like in the 21st century, I would put forward the Careteam model as an example. It's non-creedal (if you like that sort of thing), communal, networked, completely organic, driven by a very specific mission, and culturally transformative from the bottom up. It's generally low-cost and self-supporting, open to a variety of positions, practically useful, and rapidly changeable. And in essence, it's organized around the belief that service to the poor, sick and marginalized is the highest good. Sounds a lot like the early Church to me...

Action at St. Mark's...

Well, for those following the goings on at St. Mark's Cathedral in Seattle, the home of my discernment process and ongoing drama, the Dean, Robert Taylor, officially resigned yesterday. (For those who haven't been tracking, there's been a rocky relationship between Robert and the community for about a year to a year and a half, focusing around money, the Dean's leadership style, several staff firings last year, and conflicting visions of what the community should be about.) I just reviewed all of the material on the website about the separation, and I'm coming away from the whole experience with mixed--though not intense--emotions.

My basic feeling as a parishioner is that this stage has probably ended as gracefully as it could have. I'm a little disappointed that the Dean didn't have a go at the first recommendation of the Donovan Report (that is, the recommendation to take some time away from the community and see if things can be worked out), but I respect the decision that was made. I also have to admit that I'm generally happy to be part of church hierarchy in this particular situation, because the guidance of Bishops has contributed significantly to this being worked out in a way that wasn't (apparently?) horribly ugly. On the other side of things of course, a lot of the problems had to do with the way we structure our hierarchy, and the power given to the vestry and the Dean. From reading the material, and from experiencing the situation, my feeling is that there has been a level of disconnect between the congregation and the leadership, which is to some degree fostered by our church structure. It's a question whether structural/cultural issues will be addressed now that Robert has resigned. It's a savvy congregation, so I hope so, but we Episcopalians aren't particularly flexible when it comes to changing our structures. Color me conflicted.

I'm also sad to see Robert go, especially on a generally bad note. He's a person who I have deep respect for on a lot of levels. He has flaws, and as the Donovan report points out, those flaws ultimately contributed to this hubbub, but he's also a religious genius on a lot of levels and has lived a life worthy of a positive wikipedia entry. My uneducated feeling is that the problem has been as much about vestry and the community's structure as it has been Robert, but he'll be the one who has to face the most negative consequences on this one.

All in all, I think think that the report material does a good job of diffusing the sense of the dramatic in the situation. In minister resignations, everyone loves when there is gross moral misconduct, sex, murder, etc., but in this case that hasn't happened. Some people have been mad enough to act like it has, but some people get too mad too easily. There have been a lot of people who have understandably left the community, but my feeling is that the congregation is on relatively solid ground. This one probably won't light up the blogosphere too much, except maybe with those who recognize the significance of Robert's leadership in the gay religious community. Consequently, despite the significance of what's happened in this, my parish church, I'm not that inspired to write a long blog on this. It's been a long time coming, it's been handled well, and I just spent the weekend with 60 teenagers.

Church Leaders and Narcissism

For those of you who've been following the Mars Hill/St. Mark's situations, here's some interesting info from Wikipedia on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, submitted without comment: (link)

DSM Criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:[1]

has a grandiose sense of self-importance
is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brillance, beauty, or ideal love
believes that he or she is "special" and unique
requires excessive admiration
has a sense of entitlement
is interpersonally exploitative
lacks empathy
is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
(see also: Full list in DSM-IV-TR)

- Lifetime prevalence is estimated at 1% in the general population and 2% to 16% in clinical populations. 50 to 75% of those with this diagnosis are men.

- Hypothetical Causes

The etiology of this disorder is unknown, but, according to Groopman and Cooper[3], factors identified by researchers as possibly contributing to this disorder include:

An oversensitive temperament at birth
Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents
Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem
Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback
Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
Severe emotional abuse in childhood
Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or talents by adults
Learning manipulative behaviors from parents
Some narcissistic traits are common and a normal developmental phase. When these traits are compounded by a failure of the interpersonal environment and continue into adulthood they may intensify to the point where NPD is diagnosed. It has been suggested that NPD may be exacerbated by the onset of aging and the physical, mental, and occupational restrictions it imposes

Pathological narcissism occurs in a spectrum of severity. In its more extreme forms, it is narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is considered to result from a person's belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing, if questioned. In order to protect themselves against the intolerably painful rejection and isolation that (they imagine) would follow if others recognised their supposedly defective nature, such people make strong attempts to control others’ view of them and behaviour towards them.

Psychologists commonly believe that pathological narcissism results from an impairment in the quality of the person’s relationship with their primary caregivers, usually their parents, in that the parents were unable to form a healthy, empathic attachment to them. This results in the child conceiving of themselves as unimportant and unconnected to others. The child typically comes to believe that he or she has some defect of personality which makes them unvalued and unwanted.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is isolating, disenfranchising, painful, and formidable for those diagnosed with it and often those who are in a relationship with them. Distinctions need to be made among those who have NPD because not each and every person with NPD is the same. Even with similar core issues, the way in which one's individual narcissism manifests itself in his or her relationships varies.

To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others' needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen. They may also demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves, and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs. (For example, a narcissistic father who was a lawyer demanded that his son, who had always been treated as the "favorite" in the family, enter the legal profession as well. When the son chose another career, the father rejected and disparaged him.)

These traits will lead overly narcissistic parents to be very intrusive in some ways, and entirely neglectful in others. The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents’ needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts, blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional withdrawal, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs.

People who are overly narcissistic commonly feel rejected, humiliated and threatened when criticised. To protect themselves from these dangers, they often react with disdain, rage, and/or defiance to any slight criticism, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some narcissistic people withdraw socially and may feign modesty or humility.

Though individuals with NPD are often ambitious and capable, the inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional achievements. With narcissistic personality disorder, the person's perceived fantastic grandiosity, often coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically not commensurate with his or her real accomplishments.

The exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, disregard for others, and constant need for attention inherent in NPD, adversely affects interpersonal relationships. Individuals with NPD frequently select as mates, and engender in their children, "co-narcissism," which is a term coined to refer to a co-dependent personality style similar to co-alcoholism and co-dependency. Co-narcissists organize themselves around the needs of others. They feel responsible for others, accept blame readily, are eager to please, defer to others’ opinions, and fear being considered selfish if they act assertively.

- Theories on Narcissistic personality disorder and shame
It has been suggested that Narcissistic personality disorder may be related to defenses against shame.

Gabbard suggested NPD could be broken down into two subtypes. He saw the "oblivious" subtype as being grandiose, arrogant and thick skinned and the "hypervigilant" subtype as easily hurt, oversensitive and ashamed.

He suggested that the oblivious subtype presents a large, powerful, grandiose self to be admired, envied and appreciated, which is the antithesis of the weakened and internalised self that hides in a generic state of shame, in order to fend off devaluation, whereas the hypervigilant subtype, far from fending off devaluation, is obsessed with it, neutralising devaluation by seeing others as unjust abusers.

Jeffrey Young, who developed Schema Therapy, also links shame to NPD. He sees the so-called Defectiveness Schema as a core schema of NPD, next to the Emotional Deprivation and Entitlement Schemas. The Defectiveness Schema is compensated with three Schema Modes (coping strategies):

Surrender: Choose critical partners and significant others; puts him- or herself down.
Avoidance: Avoids sharing "shameful" thoughts and feelings with partners and significant others due to fear of rejection.
Overcompensation: Behaves in a critical or superior way toward others; tries to come across as perfect.
Note that an individual with this schema might not employ all three schema modes.


- Treatment and prognosis
Though there is controversy in the profession, most psychiatrists and psychologists regard NPD as a relatively stable condition when experienced as a primary disorder. James F. Masterson's A Therapist's Guide to the Personality Disorders: The Masterson Approach outlines a prominent approach to healing NPD, while discusses a continuum of severity and the kinds of therapy most effective in different cases. Typically, as narcissism is an ingrained personality trait, rather than a chemical imbalance, medication and therapy are not very effective in treating the disorder. Schema Therapy, a form of therapy developed by Jeffrey E. Young that integrates several therapeutic approaches (psychodynamic, cognitive, behavioral etc.), also offers an approach for the treatment of NPD.

It is unusual for people to seek therapy for NPD. Subconscious fears of exposure or inadequacy are often met with defensive disdain of therapeutic processes.

Pharmacotherapy is rarely used. In a review of the literature, one patient responded to Wellbutrin.

Because NPD contributes to negative, stressful life experiences characterized by the mental health field as "clinically significant distress" or "impairment", co-existing conditions of depression and anxiety are typical.

I do love the Seattle music.

The Cave Singers, Dancing on Our Graves

This is what I've been waiting for from the School of Rock

Portland School of Rock, Best of the Northwest

Angel and I drove down to Portland on Friday, and happened upon this: Portland's Paul Green School of Rock was performing their "Best of the Northwest" Show. Essentially it was a bunch of kids playing with loads of NW musicians: Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie is in this video, the guitar player from Mudhoney played with them, Dave Bazan from Pedro the Lion, a guy from the Decemberists was there, a guy from the Shins was supposed to be there, but wasn't. It was incredible: the most fun I've had at a show since I was a teenager. The kids were really talented, and there was great support from within the local and national scene. It was amazing seeing kids performing songs next to the guys that wrote them without any obvious self-consciousness. You have to give props to Portland for being able to support something like this in a relatively small city. They're the new Seattle when it comes to music, it seems.

The best part was that they were really starting them young. I'm waiting for the clip to come up on YouTube, but some they had some 10 year old (or so) kid singing metal with this awesome butt-kickin' sneer.

Here's an article on the show, and another video.



By the way, Portland has officially made it on to my top 10 favorite cities list.

Urban Hymnal Review

While the cat's away, the mouse (who is a dweeb) will blog. Angel's at work, so I've got a few moments this holiday season to post some thoughts. I thought I would write on the "Urban Hymnal" experience on which I posted previously.

If you're like me, the name "Urban Hymnal" draws to mind a rapper singing songs about lovin' Jesus, or possibly the old Verve album that had "Bittersweet Symphony" on it (which was called "Urban Hymns"). Nothing really attractive in either of those, but the good news was that it wasn't really like either, either. It was a sort of self-consciously post-modern take on a compline-y service. That is, it was music and readings and projected images, and a giant ball of yarn on the altar of St. Mark's Cathedral, all put together and presented by a group called "Urban Hymnal". The band was really pretty good--good musicians, their original music had it's moments of beauty (bouncing off the Cathedral walls), and their "covers" of old hymns were pretty. The Cathedral was full on a Friday night, which is saying something as well. I'm not sure who these people are, or where they come from, but they're undeniably good at promoting (this was their first concert, or service, or whatever you'd like to call it).

I have to admit that my initial response wasn't entirely positive--my first comment after the service was "I think that made me a little more Anglo-Catholic". For those of you who don't know and don't care, I was suggesting that all of this "contemporary post-modern worship" mumbo jumbo made me long for the old days of structured liturgy, smells and bells. I should explain that response though, because it shouldn't be taken entirely as an indictment of the service. The service did in fact get me thinking about music and art, and the way it's used religiously, and I really do think I had a bit of an epiphany in that I am in fact more Anglo-Catholic than I had previously realized.

In some sense, this is because I'm a reactionary. Here's a short history of my religious music experience: I grew up with hymns in an evangelical protestant church, and then moved on to the saccharine praise songs of mega-church worship and Christian Rock. After that, I started branching out into less-skillfully performed (though maybe more sincere) praise music in Evangelical Anglican worship. Then it was back to the hymns of Anglo-Catholic Worship, and now I'm mixing it up, going to churches that use "secular" music as worship, hymns, "praise music" and various combinations of the three. The worst part of my religious experience occurred during the "saccharine" stage of my musical life, so anything that smacks of that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's like listening to a song that was playing when a girlfriend dumped you, or something. Because that's the case, the music that seems "holy" to me is primarily either "secular" (that is, not produced for church) or ancient/classical in form. The point I'm making here is that "Urban Hymnal" did smack of "Christian Music" to me--which of course isn't illegal, and doesn't mean their music was necessarily "saccharine", but it did inevitably color my experience. So, I realized during the service that I've got a lot of the Anglo-Catholic in me, which I hadn't thought before.

So, what's the point of all of this? Urban Hymnal was, for me, an effective post-modern worship service: It didn't entirely makes sense, because it wasn't in a clearly recognizable "worship" format (Read my friend Blaire's largely negative post on the service here), and it didn't provide me with some sort of subjective touchy-feely "experience of God". Rather, it got me asking questions about the meaning of music, and the definition of sacred. Also, it had a giant ball of yarn on the altar--apparently senseless, definitely abstract, and thoroughly post-modern. Does that mean I liked it? I don't know. I think so, all in all. Does it mean I'd go again? Probably, because I want to see what they'll do next. Was it a refreshing change of pace from both church and "secular" musical performances? Yes, probably so. Was I more inspired there than at the Holiday Party with friends I went to afterwards?

Another Bottletown Classic

For about half of the day in the warehouse today two people were apparently having a radio battle. One person was playing their music loudly, while the other person played their music more quietly underneath. There was for a while a third participant. Because that's the sort of thing that they do to flush militants out of their compounds, I eventually flipped out, and everyone started laughing. Someone told me that maybe I should just put on my headphones. That's when I decided to give up.

Update! To experience what I experienced (for 2 hours), press play on both of the following videos at the same time!

Discovery Park

After having realized that my commitment to walking all over the city has had it's desired effect--that is, helping me to not hate living in the city anymore--I decided that it was time to allow myself to go back to walking where I like for a day, at Discovery Park in the Magnolia neighborhood. Here are some photo highlights for your enjoyment.

Path facing Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains.

Seattle Sort-Of Beach


The Park's small peninsula, with beach, lighthouse, and Olympic Mountains in the background.


And one more shot of the Olympics across the water.

Being back out away in the "natural" (that is, not yet covered in concrete) world got me thinking back on two things: New Zealand, and my science/ecology and faith inte